Today’s world is confusing for single women, especially when it comes to love and sex. Is it okay to ask a guy out? Should you leave if he cheats? Is it wrong to give a guy money? How soon after you meet a guy should you sleep with him? Should you even sleep with a guy if you want to marry him? The list is endless but today, I’m going to address the ‘when is the right time to sleep with a guy’ question.
When it comes to sex during dating, there are two schools of thought. The first is that you should not sleep with a man until you get married. Period. That school of thought is heavily supported by Christianity and as far as I know, there are no grey areas here. If you follow Christianity then you don’t believe in pre-marital sex. Since that is a clear, black-and-white issue, there’s nothing to discuss there so we’ll move on to the other school of thought on this sex and dating issue.
If you’re open to sex while dating, the question then becomes when is the right time for a woman to sleep with a man she’s seeing. The funny thing is that I don’t think this is an issue for guys. If a guy wants to sleep with a woman, he does. He doesn’t wonder if the woman will still respect him in the morning or if she will think he’s a slut (tellingly, there’s no word for a male slut). Guys just do whatever they want. Sadly, it’s not the same for women.
Over the years, women have heard all sorts of rules about sex and men so that today, many women are confused about when or even if they should sleep with a guy they are dating. The truth is that there’s no right answer. Only you can (and indeed, should) decide what is right for you. However, I can give you my philosophy on this and it is ‘Do what makes you feel good and learn from your past.’ If you once had a one-night and didn’t feel good afterwards, don’t do it again. If you desperately wanted to sleep with a guy you dated for 2 years but didn’t then you guys broke up and later he got married but you feel that basically, he was a good person, the next time you’re in a relationship with a guy and want to sleep with him, do so.
I often say ‘there are no rules’ but I have a vague one when it comes to sex and dating. Feel free to ignore this rule; it’s just something to think about. My ‘rule’ about sex is this: the more you like a guy, the longer you should wait before having sex with him. If you’re not interested in a long relationship with him then it doesn’t really matter when you guys get down to business but if you fancy him like crazy, wait a little longer. The wait builds anticipation (for both of you) and gives you time to really get to know the guy. The longer you know a guy, the better you’ll be able to tell if he suits you and if he is truly someone you want to have a long-term relationship with.
Ultimately, the decision of if or when you sleep with a guy depends on you and that is actually something to be celebrated. Not that long ago, women didn’t have that opportunity. Whatever you do, take the decision that you feel will make you happy now and in the future.
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