Ladies and gentlemen, these are most unusual times. I don’t know what’s going on in your part of the world exactly but here in Nigeria, because of the great disease whose name we must not mention, the government has implemented stay-at-home orders for certain parts of the country and…it’s been tough.
The stay-at-home order has been difficult for people for many different reasons from medical to financial but being your friendly neighbourhood relationship coach, today, I’m going to be talking about how the stay-at-home order affects romantic relationships. By the way, I did a video earlier on how to handle quarantine or isolation if you’re single so if you’re interested in it, watch the video here.
My tips today will be useful for anybody anywhere in the world who is in a relationship but is stuck at home with their partner because of stay-at-home orders or because of quarantine and isolation. Today, I’m going to be sharing love tips for couples in lockdown.
To watch the video, click HERE or on the image below.
Prefer to read rather that watch the video? Here’s what’s in it:
No matter how much you and your partner may be in love, it’s difficult not to get on each other’s nerves if you’re together all day, every day. So in order to prevent you from breaking your man’s head in frustration, today, I’m going to be giving you tips on how to get through the lockdown situation without drama.
My 1st tip for couples in lockdown is to see this enforced time together as a blessing. Pre-isolation or pre-quarantine, many couples barely saw each other. In fact, that’s one of the reasons why many couples fight. One person always seems to be at work or with friends or something and doesn’t seem to have time for the other partner or the children and so the couple fights. So, if you’ve ever berated your partner for not spending enough time with you, now you’re getting your wish. Of course, it’s not happening in the way that you probably wanted it to happen but when the universe answers our prayers, it doesn’t always do that in the way we expect.
Still, even if you’re desperately in love with your partner, being together so much means that you’ll start to notice little things about your partner that irritate you. Who knew that the way someone breathed could be annoying? What you need to do at this kind of point is to remember that if you’re finding your partner irritating or little things that they’re doing annoy you, realise that it’s very likely that your partner is feeling the same way about you as well but they may not be showing it, they may not be acting up. Be grateful for that.
Also, remind yourself of all the things you love about your partner. Fine, they may not arrange clothes in the specific manner in which you like it but maybe they entertain your kids for hours on end so that you’ll have a break. Always focus on the good.
My 2nd tip for couples in lockdown is to give each other space. Love cannot blossom in a choked environment. You and your partner are forced to be indoors but that doesn’t mean that you have to be together 24/7. The two of you need to give each other space. If you live in a small flat, this is the time to get creative. Go into another room, even if it’s the kitchen or the bathroom or the toilet. It will shock you how refreshed you can feel just spending a few minutes alone, even if it’s in the loo.
If you have a balcony you can chill on, go and make use of it and if you have a backyard, you’re lucky. Get out there and take a walk. I read somewhere that there was a man during this lockdown period, somewhere…I don’t know…somewhere in the world and he ran an entire marathon, all 42 kilometres of it in his 6-metre long garden. That’s incredible! I can’t imagine myself doing anything like that but that’s the kind of creativity that comes out with this kind of period. Give each other space and you and your partner may still be on talking terms by the time this lockdown is over.
My 3rd tip for couples in lockdown is to relax your rules – for yourself, your partner and your children, if you have any. Maybe normally, clothes are washed on Saturdays, toys are put away immediately after being played with and no-one comes to the living room unless fully-dressed.
But these are unusual times and fortunately, nobody is going to come and inspect your home to see if you’re following your own self-imposed rules. Give yourself and everyone else a break. Everyone is feeling tense right now. Even little children know that there’s something wrong so let things slide a little. You and everyone in your home will feel a little better as a result.
Another tip I have for you is that while you may be feeling trapped and may feel like the walls closing are closing in on you, one of the most useful things you can do right now is to visualise a future in which you’re happy and all the things you’ll be able to do once this stay-at-home order is lifted.
In the meantime, if you need a little extra help with your relationship, contact me for coaching so that you can thrive during these trying times. To see my coaching rates, click here.
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