As a relationship coach for single women over the age of 30, I know that there’s a very real fear for many women that they’ll always be alone. This fear is probably increased if the woman is single and over the age of 30. She thinks, “Well, I’m past my youth right now and I’m still single so it looks like I’m going to be single for the rest of my life. I’m scared.”
And that fear is multiplied if you don’t have children. It’s like “I’m single, I’m over 30 and I don’t even have children. It looks like I’m not going to have anybody to look after me when I’m old. Now, I’m even more scared.” I’m here today to say that you shouldn’t be. Today, I’m going to be talking about what to do if you’re afraid you’ll always be alone.
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I’m going to give a little background about myself in case you don’t know me. I was a single woman in my 30s as well and there were many times when I felt very scared and felt that I was always going to be alone and nobody was going to want me and things like that. But somehow, I managed to keep those thoughts in check.
Despite those fears, I managed to be happy while I was single. And I’m going to talk about that in this video and you can get more details about that on my blog as well, particularly if you go to my blog and then you click on the ‘About’ section of my blog which is here.
In my case, it was when I finally created a life that I loved that I got married. The reason I told you that short story was so that you’ll know that I was in that position that you’re in right now so I understand exactly what you’re going through and I can help you.
My very 1st tip is you’re afraid that you’re always going to be alone is to feel the fear and do it anyway. That’s the title of a book by Susan Jeffers, by the way. If you can, go and read it. It’s a great book. What I mean here is to imagine the worst possible consequences that can happen as a result of you being single forever and take steps to overcome those consequences. You also have to deal with the feelings that come up with your imagining these consequences.
So, for example, you might think that because you’re single or that if you’re single forever, you’ll always be broke. But the truth is that there are many people in relationships, many people who have children, who have even adult children, who are broke, completely broke. So you see, being in a relationship or having children is no guarantee that you’ll have money or that you’ll be financially stable.
So, what steps can you take to prevent those consequences from happening? What can you do to make money? What can you do to make more money? What can you do to make money for the future? Do lots of research. Ask people who have the life that you want right now how they got to where they are. Read lots of books. Read books about people who have the life that you want to live. And after you’ve read those books, do your research and then take steps that can lead you towards having that particular life.
The truth about steps is that it doesn’t have to be anything big. If you spend as little as 15 minutes every day or even every weekday on your dream or on your goal, you’ll find that you’ve gotten so close to that dream or even achieved that dream and you won’t believe it. It can happen much faster than you think. Just take 15 minutes every day to spend on your goal. Remember that most of our fears never come to pass anyway.
My 2nd tip if you’re afraid you’ll always be alone is to find ways to make your life fun even if you’re going to be alone for the rest of your life. I have to mention here that most people get married at some point in their lives. It’s just statistics. But so that you can kick this fear to the curb, I want you to know that even if you’re alone right now and even if you’re going to be alone for the rest of your life, it doesn’t mean that you’re going to be sad and it doesn’t mean that you’re going to be unhappy. It’s possible for you to be single and be happy. Plan the way you want your life to go, even if it is life as a single woman.
What makes you happy? That is, what, apart from being in a relationship or having children would make you happy? Think about it. What do you consider fun or fulfilling? Can you take a course that will help you change careers? Can you start a side hustle? Can you start volunteering? Can you write a book or make audios or videos about a topic that you wish someone else had made videos or audios about?
Can you research countries that you would love to visit even if you don’t have the money to visit them right now? What can you do to help others? Brainstorm lots of ideas and then start doing them little by little. Before you know it, you’ll be so much happier and you’ll realise that life can be fun whether you’re single or not.
My 3rd tip if you’re afraid that you’ll always be alone is to stay positive. Know that even if you wind up alone, you will always be happy and you will always be taken care of. But know that that cannot happen without positive action from you. You can’t be nasty and rude to people and expect that you’ll always be happy and that you’ll always be taken care of.
Life doesn’t work out that way. Life gives you what you give it. So if you show life that you’re a good person and that you’re trying to make a positive impact in this world, life is going to reward you with good things, things that will make a positive impact on your own world. It’s okay to feel down sometimes but know that this is just happening for a while and when you’re ready, bring yourself back up. Stay hopeful and happiness will be yours.
I hope you enjoyed the tips in this blog post. If you want daily tips from me on how to be happy while single and how to attract the right person into your life, follow me on Instagram. To get my free e-books on love and relationships for the single woman over the age of 30, click here.
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